23 Funny Quotes of The Day
1- Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.
2- I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
3- Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious.
4- Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
5- I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
6- I know the voices in my head aren’t real….. but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
7- My goal this weekend is to move… just enough so people don’t think I’m dead.
8- When nothing is going right, go left.
9- Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.
10- Don’t know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they’ll show up quickly.
11- There’s life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.
12- I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
13- I changed my password everywhere to ‘incorrect.’ That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, ‘Your password is incorrect.
14- Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could. Charles J. Sykes
15- I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Groucho Marx
16- Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
17- I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
18- All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Charles Schulz
19- Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. Garrison Keillor
20- A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin
21- You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin
22- If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. Alice Roosevelt Longworth
23- Sometimes all you need is $500 million.