30 Funny Quotes of The Day

Here is 30 Funny Quotes of The Day;

1- You cry, I cry, …you laugh, I laugh…you jump off a cliff I laugh even harder!!

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2- Never steal. The government hates competition.

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3- 1f you c4n r34d 7h15, you r34lly n33d 2 g37 l41d

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4- Some people are like Slinky’s. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

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5- Never argue with an idiot they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience

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6- Smile…It confuses people..!!

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7- Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?

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8- Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.

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9- Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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10- Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?

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11- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

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12- I wish my book of life was written in pencil … There are a few pages I would like to erase.

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13- Save paper, don’t do home work.

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14- All guys hate the words DON’T and STOP unless they’re put together.

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15- Do not drink and drive or you might spill the drink.

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16- I’m an excellent housekeeper..Every time I get divorce I keep the house ;- )

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17- Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

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18- When nothing goes right, Go left.

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19- Save water and shower together

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20- It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.

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21- Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

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22- If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

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23- I’m not a complete idiot. Some pieces are missing.

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24- Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped

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25- When life gives you lemons…throw them over your shoulder and look for an orange

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26- Adults are just kids with money.

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27- Why do they put pizza in a square box?

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28- Coffee, Chocolate, Men. The richer the better!

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29- Everyone has the right to their own opinion… Yours is just wrong.

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30- Flying is learning how to fall without hitting the ground.